These People came out and we stated thinking of another tour for The Dicks. a US tour to promote the album. and keep our name out there. Tim and i were getting along worse than ever. My little infatuation was now over. It was hard to deal with each other and Sebastian and Lynn had become somewhat involved and that was another intertwined set of problems. Tim now distanced himself from me and i resented that. the soap opera was a real pain in the ass and i wwonder how Debbie stood it. so when everyone is getting along badly what do you do? jump in the van for a month long tour. Debbie was starting to get a reputation around SF as a tough and good manager. She booked the tour herself and pretty soon we headed out. now this is he way all this works. i have been on many many tours. Long ones and mini tours. up and down the west coast. then up and down the east coast. from the dicks to black Kali Ma and Sister Double Happiness. all over the USA and all over most of Europe. to tell the truth i get them all mixed up. this happened here or was it there....which band did what and on and on. i never kept diaries and still really don;t regret it. I do know the Dicks from California toued the US a couple of times. long month or 6 weeks or one even two months. and up the west coast a lot. from san diego to Vancouver. we got an old van from a friend of ous pretty cheap. a big yellow sign on the side said The Tile Man with ome information and numbers to call. I never knew why but we left it there. so it became known around town as the Tile Man Van. we drove that old beat up thing all over hell and back. every once in a while it would brake down but wekept glueing it back together and kept on going. Everyone really tried to get along on these tours knowing we were going to be stuck together for months so try not to fight.
a few high lights of the Dicks--
once we were on a tour up the wwet coast. Playing Portland and Eugene, then up to Seattle. I think with TSOL. Funny how they were all punk looking and acting. they watched in amazment as Lynn used her curling iron to fix her hair back stage. you could just see them thinking how uncool we were. they were all business and leather jackets....we were queers, and curling irons. Sebastian was embarrassed at the Dicks being so unconcerned with being cool .the next night was Vancouver. we had never played in Canada and canada is one of the toughest boarders there is. We had no papers or anything to be ready for this little trip to our northern neighbors. We had played a lot with DOA, one of Canada's very best punk rock bands. So we knew from them that the Boardwr qwith Canada and the US was a tough one. Most of this could be avoided by knowing how to do it right. Having a list of all your equiopment and the worth of it, your merchindise, the peolple in the van and ID's. also you did not go the regular get in line and tourist way...you went the truck rought and pulled in and took your papers in to the office. even then it might not not go so smooth but usually that was the way to do it.Of course we did not do it like that at all. we got right in line with the rest of the tourist. well, no surprise we got the meanist woman in the world. she told us to pull over and for Debbie to come in the office. we all waited in the van nervous to see what was going on. soon she came back and told us we could not take undeclared equipment and tee shirts into Canada so we had to turn around and go back into the stats to the little town right there and put all the things into storage then come back into Canada. We were all freaked out. After some phone calls DOA's manager told us we could use their amps and just not sell shirts but to hurry up and come on so we wouldn't be late. it was atarting to get dark and we turned the old Tile Man van around and headed back to the good old usa.....now in the short time it took to turn around Sebastian told us, "i am not in the US legal and have a fake ID...it belongs to Carl" Sebastian and Carl, a SF punk, look like each other like i look like Cher. no one could really even say anything....we were pulling up to the guard who had, i'm sure, been told we were coming. a big strapping hot man waiting for the Tile Man. "good vening folks...Where you coming from tonight". he asked just as friendly as if he was family.
Tim was driving, with Debbie in the front seat, Lynn, Sebastian and i were clumped around The driver's seat in the back.....this wan't a van with back seats..it was a set on the florr type thing.
Tim sort of half tried to tell him the story..."well, we are a band and we are headed back to the US to...."
"everybody give me your ID's," he barked
we all had them ready and handed then to tim who politly gave them to our friend with the gun. one by one he looked at them.
"Mr. Floyd--where are you?" he asked looking in my face.
"Here". i said.i know i looked nuts to him. fat, big wild bleached blond hair".
mr. floyd--where are you from?"
"Origanily from Texas," i said, " but i now live in San Francisco."
"How about you, tim Carroll?" the guard was asking as he looked at each ID.
"time sort of beamed "from Ann Arbor i live in San Francisco now as well"
then the guy heald up an id card and looked around the van. oh, boy!
"an Mr --he said some name i never heard before. "Where are you from?"
in the most German accent i have ever heard in my life Sebastian says, "I am from America".ok, everybody's ass tightens up.
"Where?" the big mean looking guard asked
I'm whispering to Him in the back," say San Francisco...say San Francisco"
again "America, I am from America".
"the cop lost all human emotions then...pointing to an empty parking area just outside the office he said," Pull this van over and turn off the motor. "Mr..".whatever the name was that was not Sebastian's last name..."you follow the red line and come into the office now.
everyone was in shock....Sebastian was wild looking as he put his hand down his paints and pulled out a baggie..."What the fuck is that?" somebody asked.
"it's weed...hide it" he said slamming the door as we all sat there under the brightest lights in the world and watched him walking into the united states boarder office. we were were the only car there. slow sunday i guess.
"wjat are we gonna do with that?" er all asked eeach other."
"i know im going to kill that little mother fucker" debbie snarled
tim took out some little pocket knife and cut a little line alonge the cealing lining and stuck the baggie in there and stuffed the material back to try and hide the pot.
the office door swung open and a huge cop walked up and slammed against the side of the van yelling, "everyone out! follow the red line into the office and take a seat! no talking!"
we all got out with ouniforms were watching us. they came and told us one at a time to come to the desk and give our ID's to the cop and go sit back down. about this time the door opened and it was Sebastian followed by a few big guards. he had his suitcase and was all teary eyed. one of the cops laughed as he passed us and said, "your German friend Mr Fuches is going back to Germany..might want to say good bye!"
Lynn asked "can i please get his parents telephone number...i know they live in Boulder...please?" the cop said "well ok, but be fast."
about his time they called us all back up to get our id's when they gave me mine, the guys asked me, "did you know he was in the country illigally from Germany" i had no idea what to say. all i could think of the pot in the van and our show being cancelled in Vancouver.
"Uh, i knew he had German roots" i stupidly blurted out.
they told us they were deporting him tomorrow and for us to get out of there before they put us all in jail for trying to slip him into Canada.
he had vanished along with the other guards. we tryed to be calm and walk that fucking red line back to the van. as we got in we saw the pot was still there.."they didn't even search the van" Lynn said.
"everyone started saying to tim, "get outta here, get the fuck away from here. we stopped at a trash can placed just befor we pulled out onto the main road and threw the pot into it, and headed back to Seattle to spend the night with the folks who had put us up the night before. Debbie had called them to tell what had happened. thinking back i am sure they must of thought how stupid we were. but said we could spend the night there and try to deal with all this needless drama.
we called the number for Sebastian's parents in Boulder and Debbie sopke with his dad. thye seemed pretty unexcited by what had happened. i guess the dad had worked in some compssiry in washing dc and knew Jimmy Carter really well. a few phone calls were made and the bourder gaurds took Sebastian to a motel and even gave him money to buy food!! the next morning we piled back into the van and had to drive back that creepy little town and pick up sebastian from some restaurant. i wanted to fire him then and there. so did debbie...i think Lynn and Tim gave him a lecuture and thought that would be enough. I never trusted him at his word again. but we stayed together. i was starting to re think the whole band and was began to want something different. people were starting to yell "faster" after songs we played. i hated the idea of not being aboe to play any kind of song and feel free to do it the way i wanted. i wanted another band..i was also starting to feel the hunger for a spiriual direction. i needed sa change.
one more tour and i was sure it would be over. Just ojne more tour.