Soon i was back in SF and living in my own room on Divisadero st. when we firt got back in town i slept on an extra bed in phillip's room. before to long, though a guy living in a tiny room in the back of the house decided he was moving out so Phillip moved into that room. i shut the doors to my very ownroom and cried at the fact.....I was home! i had not had my own space since living in California. only due to Phillip's unbelievable kindness had i lived anywhere at all. my room was right in the middle of the house. A stripper who i did not know well named Shela had the front with all the wwindows facing the street.
lynn and Helen shared a bed room and phillip was in the tiny room in the back.
i was so happy. i knew Helen really did not wnt me there, but everyone else did so i was IN. Helen liked me but she thought of herself as the boss and i must have poised a threat. the house parties were almost non stop. it was a blast.
It was no surprise that soon as we returned to SF Tim told us he was leaving the band. i was happy really. he was completely separate from the rest of us. i know at first i had freaked him out by having a man crush on him but this had long pased and absolutely anything i said was taken as a jab at him. he was a good guy but time was up for him in the band and he left. we had a couple of shows coming up and the big one was with the Dead Kennedy's in LA...with Fishbone at the olimpic auditorium. Sebastian knew a good guitarist named Granny...a friendly and out going likable fellow. African=American rock and roller with dread lovks....handsome and a girl magnet. He and sebastian were difinatly into the rock and roll life style. we did a few hows in SF. one being at the Farm Tim as hardly missed and Granny was really good on stage. I remember Tim telling me or somebody later, it was like watching somebody fuck your girlfriend on stage in front of your very own eyes. whatever. When the how in LA came up we decided to fly down there. ho we got the money i'll never know. i remember at the airport a huge fight between Debbie and Sebastian happened just before e boarded the plane....i have no idea hat but it was just the last straw to kill off what might have been left. at the show it wa fun to play suck a big place. Fishbone are and were then an amazing band. the lat time was played at the olimpic i got my as kicked by some of the Discord fans....this time i was much more confident and we were much more popular. Hilary had surprisedme and flown down to ee us and be there t the last show. Debbie liekd Her but kept an eye on me to make sure there was no romance re blooming! the show ended and the Dicks were over. t least for almost 20 years.
a huge part of my life had hit me and floated away. what a great bsnd to have been part of. but now neww stuff waited fo me and i was running to meet it.

we had another tour coming up and i went to look for a good book to read while driving the long spaces between shows/ this time we were going to the east coast and most points between. part of the tour as going to be with DOA...like 6 or 7 shows. i had known these guys for a while now. they were for the most part just like good old boys like the Texas guys i had grown up with...only they played punk rock. they ere always very nice to me...although i always felt if i had not been so openly gay they would have liked me better. the drummer, Dim Wit, was an especially tough acting guy. funny though one day while i was at the big famous DOA house in Vancouver he sort of sneaked out to the van where i spent most of my time...and gave me a tee shirt he had printed with his own ace on it....i was touched at his gift because i got the message he did n't just give them to anybody....25 years later i still have that shirt. Sad to say he died later on.
so once again we were heeded out. I went to a pretty famous, huge, unorganized, dusty book store shoping for my tour book in the rough part of town ...the Tenderloin,. A big, filthy adult book store with booths and glory holes was near by so i made a pit stop in there. a real cute very normal guy was watching a porn movie with his door open....which was the big signal to come on in and join him. I did just that...closing the door and locking it behind me. we sktood there for a few seconds when he asked me, "you want to come over to my place? i live near here."
"sure," i said, "do you live alone?"
"yeah---you ever like to ....dress up?"
hummm. i could see this might be leading in a direction i wanted to avoid, but i had to know more.
"dress up? how dressed up are you talking about?"
"you know...dress up like a baby"
"A baby?"
now i knew a cult of grown ups that liked to get off dressed like babys existed because of a porno magazine that me and toby used to keep on our coffee table called Infantile Anilisis. a joke of course. now i knew i was not going anywhere with thi guy but i wanted to get ass mch infor out of him as i could.
"what would we do?" i asked...trying to look all interested.
"well, dress up in baby stuff...i have things that will fit you...diapers and baby bonnets, and we could mess ourselves and then ..." i had the door open and stepped outside..."sorry, dude, but im not into that" i said
he snapped back, as if to tell me off, "there are lot of adult babies in the bay area". then he slammed the door in my face.
i decided to drop any idea of having sex that day and just go to the real book store to get that touring book to read..
i usually got commie books but for some reason i wanted a book to feed the spiritual thing going on in me. I found a great little book The Teachings of the Buddha. i still have this book. all over th country i read it. i found much comfort in this book. Having been a good little Maoist it felt odd to be embracing the ideas of the Buddha. i laughed when anybody gave me shit about it. we played everywhere on that tour. Even staying a few days with our old friend Christy in NYC. One of her room mates at the time had been a boyfriend for a while with a new popular woman in the music world...Madonna! he tod us all about her and how ambitious she was. soon we moved on to Boston where two of my very best friends from austin lived now. one of the Torn panties, Do and one of the really great brother friends Raymond...which is where we would be staying. In NYC Lynn and i walked around everyday. one day on the way to the village we ran into Marine Stapelton...we asked her for directions...when i relized who shoe was i stupidly asked, "were you in the movie Reds?". she looked like a was the dumbass i felt like but she politly sid yes and walked off.
later waalking by the Dakota we saw Yoko Ono and a young Sean walkinging tinto the building....surrounded by big body guards....i wnted to say hello, but thought twice and just squled inside. i was always a huge Yoko fan. so lynn and i just laughed all the way back to the apartment. Tim and i usually had little to say to each other and were growing sick of being aroundeach other every day. i was really starting to look forward to getting bacck to SF. It was wonderful to play in Boston and hang out with Raymond and Deloris (Do).
soon we started the drive back to SF. but not frit before driving through Tesas. Even playing in Austin. we stayed with Biscuit....Randy Turner my old buddies came to the show and even watched and helped us hold Lynn's drums so they would not move across the floor. i found out later they wanted to come and kik my ass, but became friendly when i was really happy to ee them and we all went back stage and drank. i think back on this and am amazed ho kice they all were.to me and the ret of the band.
after the austin show we tared the long drive to San Francisco. things were about to cahnge. i ws happy to know thi but unsure how it would go down. all i could thinkthough, was bring it on!

These People came out and we stated thinking of another tour for The Dicks. a US tour to promote the album. and keep our name out there. Tim and i were getting along worse than ever. My little infatuation was now over. It was hard to deal with each other and Sebastian and Lynn had become somewhat involved and that was another intertwined set of problems. Tim now distanced himself from me and i resented that. the soap opera was a real pain in the ass and i wwonder how Debbie stood it. so when everyone is getting along badly what do you do? jump in the van for a month long tour. Debbie was starting to get a reputation around SF as a tough and good manager. She booked the tour herself and pretty soon we headed out. now this is he way all this works. i have been on many many tours. Long ones and mini tours. up and down the west coast. then up and down the east coast. from the dicks to black Kali Ma and Sister Double Happiness. all over the USA and all over most of Europe. to tell the truth i get them all mixed up. this happened here or was it there....which band did what and on and on. i never kept diaries and still really don;t regret it. I do know the Dicks from California toued the US a couple of times. long month or 6 weeks or one even two months. and up the west coast a lot. from san diego to Vancouver. we got an old van from a friend of ous pretty cheap. a big yellow sign on the side said The Tile Man with ome information and numbers to call. I never knew why but we left it there. so it became known around town as the Tile Man Van. we drove that old beat up thing all over hell and back. every once in a while it would brake down but wekept glueing it back together and kept on going. Everyone really tried to get along on these tours knowing we were going to be stuck together for months so try not to fight.
a few high lights of the Dicks--
once we were on a tour up the wwet coast. Playing Portland and Eugene, then up to Seattle. I think with TSOL. Funny how they were all punk looking and acting. they watched in amazment as Lynn used her curling iron to fix her hair back stage. you could just see them thinking how uncool we were. they were all business and leather jackets....we were queers, and curling irons. Sebastian was embarrassed at the Dicks being so unconcerned with being cool .the next night was Vancouver. we had never played in Canada and canada is one of the toughest boarders there is. We had no papers or anything to be ready for this little trip to our northern neighbors. We had played a lot with DOA, one of Canada's very best punk rock bands. So we knew from them that the Boardwr qwith Canada and the US was a tough one. Most of this could be avoided by knowing how to do it right. Having a list of all your equiopment and the worth of it, your merchindise, the peolple in the van and ID's. also you did not go the regular get in line and tourist way...you went the truck rought and pulled in and took your papers in to the office. even then it might not not go so smooth but usually that was the way to do it.Of course we did not do it like that at all. we got right in line with the rest of the tourist. well, no surprise we got the meanist woman in the world. she told us to pull over and for Debbie to come in the office. we all waited in the van nervous to see what was going on. soon she came back and told us we could not take undeclared equipment and tee shirts into Canada so we had to turn around and go back into the stats to the little town right there and put all the things into storage then come back into Canada. We were all freaked out. After some phone calls DOA's manager told us we could use their amps and just not sell shirts but to hurry up and come on so we wouldn't be late. it was atarting to get dark and we turned the old Tile Man van around and headed back to the good old usa.....now in the short time it took to turn around Sebastian told us, "i am not in the US legal and have a fake ID...it belongs to Carl" Sebastian and Carl, a SF punk, look like each other like i look like Cher. no one could really even say anything....we were pulling up to the guard who had, i'm sure, been told we were coming. a big strapping hot man waiting for the Tile Man. "good vening folks...Where you coming from tonight". he asked just as friendly as if he was family.
Tim was driving, with Debbie in the front seat, Lynn, Sebastian and i were clumped around The driver's seat in the back.....this wan't a van with back seats..it was a set on the florr type thing.
Tim sort of half tried to tell him the story..."well, we are a band and we are headed back to the US to...."
"everybody give me your ID's," he barked
we all had them ready and handed then to tim who politly gave them to our friend with the gun. one by one he looked at them.
"Mr. Floyd--where are you?" he asked looking in my face.
"Here". i said.i know i looked nuts to him. fat, big wild bleached blond hair".
mr. floyd--where are you from?"
"Origanily from Texas," i said, " but i now live in San Francisco."
"How about you, tim Carroll?" the guard was asking as he looked at each ID.
"time sort of beamed "from Ann Arbor i live in San Francisco now as well"
then the guy heald up an id card and looked around the van. oh, boy!
"an Mr --he said some name i never heard before. "Where are you from?"
in the most German accent i have ever heard in my life Sebastian says, "I am from America".ok, everybody's ass tightens up.
"Where?" the big mean looking guard asked
I'm whispering to Him in the back," say San Francisco...say San Francisco"
again "America, I am from America".
"the cop lost all human emotions then...pointing to an empty parking area just outside the office he said," Pull this van over and turn off the motor. "Mr..".whatever the name was that was not Sebastian's last name..."you follow the red line and come into the office now.
everyone was in shock....Sebastian was wild looking as he put his hand down his paints and pulled out a baggie..."What the fuck is that?" somebody asked.
"it's weed...hide it" he said slamming the door as we all sat there under the brightest lights in the world and watched him walking into the united states boarder office. we were were the only car there. slow sunday i guess.
"wjat are we gonna do with that?" er all asked eeach other."
"i know im going to kill that little mother fucker" debbie snarled
tim took out some little pocket knife and cut a little line alonge the cealing lining and stuck the baggie in there and stuffed the material back to try and hide the pot.
the office door swung open and a huge cop walked up and slammed against the side of the van yelling, "everyone out! follow the red line into the office and take a seat! no talking!"
we all got out with ouniforms were watching us. they came and told us one at a time to come to the desk and give our ID's to the cop and go sit back down. about this time the door opened and it was Sebastian followed by a few big guards. he had his suitcase and was all teary eyed. one of the cops laughed as he passed us and said, "your German friend Mr Fuches is going back to Germany..might want to say good bye!"
Lynn asked "can i please get his parents telephone number...i know they live in Boulder...please?" the cop said "well ok, but be fast."
about his time they called us all back up to get our id's when they gave me mine, the guys asked me, "did you know he was in the country illigally from Germany" i had no idea what to say. all i could think of the pot in the van and our show being cancelled in Vancouver.
"Uh, i knew he had German roots" i stupidly blurted out.
they told us they were deporting him tomorrow and for us to get out of there before they put us all in jail for trying to slip him into Canada.
he had vanished along with the other guards. we tryed to be calm and walk that fucking red line back to the van. as we got in we saw the pot was still there.."they didn't even search the van" Lynn said.
"everyone started saying to tim, "get outta here, get the fuck away from here. we stopped at a trash can placed just befor we pulled out onto the main road and threw the pot into it, and headed back to Seattle to spend the night with the folks who had put us up the night before. Debbie had called them to tell what had happened. thinking back i am sure they must of thought how stupid we were. but said we could spend the night there and try to deal with all this needless drama.
we called the number for Sebastian's parents in Boulder and Debbie sopke with his dad. thye seemed pretty unexcited by what had happened. i guess the dad had worked in some compssiry in washing dc and knew Jimmy Carter really well. a few phone calls were made and the bourder gaurds took Sebastian to a motel and even gave him money to buy food!! the next morning we piled back into the van and had to drive back that creepy little town and pick up sebastian from some restaurant. i wanted to fire him then and there. so did debbie...i think Lynn and Tim gave him a lecuture and thought that would be enough. I never trusted him at his word again. but we stayed together. i was starting to re think the whole band and was began to want something different. people were starting to yell "faster" after songs we played. i hated the idea of not being aboe to play any kind of song and feel free to do it the way i wanted. i wanted another band..i was also starting to feel the hunger for a spiriual direction. i needed sa change.
one more tour and i was sure it would be over. Just ojne more tour.

My day to day life was mostly pretty easy. The handsome worker at the Zoup Kitchen and i became pretty friendly. His name was Scott Squat...named for his dedication to living in empty buildings and finding squats for others as well. he and i even pent a few night together on the les than clean floor of a practice pace we had for a while at the notorious Turk St. Studio we shared for a hort while with the band Tragic Mulatto. i had also met a wonderful woman named Hilary. what a wild, go getter she was. very much a part of the anarchist collective that ran the Bound Together Bookstore on Haight. Skinny, like a model big eye and really mart as attatude. she and a few friend had started a big squat in town. they kept out the drug dealers and fixed the place up really nice. they even had movie night and big dinners for the community. at a show one night in the Russian center off Diviadero st. I ran into her. we talked all night and realized how well we got along. she was a big flirt sexy person...with boys and girls...and i was a bit of a flirt myself....although queer only, i had had oral sexx once at a party in austin with a south American beauty, a rich girl visiting and somehow ended up at Little Mexico on a prty night. I don't know how but public sex came up, and she asked me if i had ever had sex in a bathroom i said yes, of course but only with guys. she asked if i would have sex with her in the bathroom...beitng drunk i said yes! we went into the bathroom and she sat on the side of the tub and i used the. knowledge i had picked up from porn movies and buried my face in her crotch and ran my tongue un and down her pussy. She loved it and i sort of liked it too. -- however, lots of people had figured out what was going on and everyone started beating on the door.
So, i wasn't completely n the dark about what might be about to happen with Hilary. She asked if she could come over to my house and spend the night sometime. I said sure he could. Sure enough the very next night a knock came to my bed room door and it was her. I was very sober and very shocked. she did spend the night and she crawled into bed naked. I was born gay. End of discussion. but i was also flattered that Hilery was so into me and so up front about it. I kept thinking, "on my god, Phillip is just int he other room and i am in the bed with a naked girl! hat will he think?" we slept that way that night. me fully dressed and her completely nude. The next night a repeat happened, except i sort of flowed with it and let her take charge of it. we ended up hving sex! like everything! i knew how those straight guys felt that keep saying, "but i'm not gay" while getting you give them a blow job. Hilary started hanging out a lot. and she and i became really good friend. one night in a pizza place we both thought a guy in the cafe was really hot. Sex was the common topic of out conversation and a three way was something both of us wanted.
he noticed us looking at him and we were makiing it no secret that we were looking for trouble. a he was leaving he looked back and Hilary asked me ,"do you want me to ask him?" Hell Yeah!" i told her. she ran out of the restaurant and i watched them talk. i saw her write down what turned out to be his number. she came back and we laughed at our brazen act. he was into it, she said, but could not do anything that night. call him tomorrow and make a plan. well, we were both waiting all day to call and see when we could met up. when she did call another guy answered the phone. when 'out guy' got on the line he was acting all butch and both Hil and I were sharing the phone trying to listen. he said. some crap about he couldn't do it that day because his room mate was around. we both heard a loud "Room mate?" iin the background....then our guy sheepishly, "I mean my lover.." Great, he was a queen. cute but i wasn't looking for a three way with another gay guy. my stupid fantasy-- was some big strapping straight guy was going to be in the bed with us...not going to happen. we told the guy we might call him back. we were both disapointed, but not that surprised. Debbie got a little jealous of Hilary and i hanging out all the time and when i told her we having sex, she was pissed. Not that she wanted to do anything like that with me....she just looked at me as her best friend and me having a 'girlfriend' seemed to threaten that. My other girlfriends didn't like it either. The Torn Panties all later told me the idea of me having sex with a girl made them feel a little mad at me. i laughed one day when talking to Hil and said, "funny, after all these years finding out i am bisexual".. she quickly put me in my place and said, "you mioght be having sex with a woman, but you ann't bisexual--honey you're a queer!" i was de-butched pretty fast. soon Hilary found a girl friend and she and i went back to jut being dear friends. besides an occasional drunken eating a snatch or two in the bar or party bathroom i stayed on the queer road and have been better for it. Even Scot Squat turned out to be Straight but just sweetly into hugging and an noce nasty kiss now and then. Most of my sexual outlets were in adult video booths. "I'm in love with a glory hole" was more than just a song line i came up with. Aids was now tarting to be a real plague and public sexual outlets were drying up , so to speak. Aids was starting to be an real issue. One ignored by government funding, but very much not ignored by the right wing religious, anti gay fundamentalist. 'God's punishment' was a creepy catch phrase used by the good folks who hated the homosexuals anyway and were happy to now have a real reason to want to round us up and kill us. i feel lucky to have remained Negative during the years. the atmosphere was charged though with solidarity of anti ragan and and ant-war, Gays were dying but at the same time starting to recognize their government did not give a shit about them.
i remember getting on stqge at the huge anti government demonstration at the Moscone Center Parking lot during the 1984 Democratic Convention. 1000's of people were there on the sunny, beautiful day. I even saw Peter Jennings walking in the crowd. I thought of the wars the uS had been in and how Viet Nam had changed so many people's lives. Mine included. the Injustice of money over rights when it came to the lives of the poor and now the homosexuals dying in the misery of a disease that no one understood. The last song we sang during out 30 min. set was No Fucking War. i think i never sang it with more feeling and 1000's of people singing along, fist in the air and pissed. these are the times being in bands that say something has given my life meaning.
there is a picture of Dave Dictor and I hugging each other on stage that day. we both felt lucky to be able to express out feelings with so many who felt like we did. later that day a riot went down in downtown SF. horses running over people and cops beating up everybody. I had ducked into a bar to have a few drinks and missed getting the shot beat out of me. who says drinking can't be good for you?

The 'new' Dicks were completely different people than my Texas band mates. Lynn and I were close from the very start. Her energy brought a whole different side of me out. I felt a total dedication to the band and was able to define it by actually saying those words with no shame. she had been drumming since her days with the Wrecks in Reno. All young girls playing the pure punk rock sound with out the need to dress up an look punk Joan Stebbins later played with Imperial Teen. She also became one of my really good friends. Bessie on guitar. i never got to know her very well, but seemed sweet. Singer Helen Pardy was the crazy one of the band. and in day to day life too. great singer and a blast to hang around. she and Lynn were best of friends and Helen was always a part of he picture. Phillip, Lynn, Helen, and i would spend lots of Sunday after noons drinking boxes of cheap wine. playing AC/DC at top volume they lived tight on Haight St near Clayton so parting was on the menu all the time.....Sebastian was a very pseudo-macho, German in every way. A little defensive and ready to get pissed at the drop of a hat. He was really a handsome guy and had tons of girl friends. Usually beautiful girls willing to take care of him. . He respected me a lot, though. And he played good. He was really into being a punk rocker. Sweet, but it was hard to bring that out sometimes. He never thought Tim was punk enough to be in the Dicks. This, of course, caused problems right from the start. I was compleatly infatuated with Tim. He and I spent tons of time together. He was a very creative guitarist and loved playing music.. i had this big crush on him and gave him total freedom to sort of lead the direction the music was going in. This started a little bit of trouble with the other members. Debbie hated it when he and I would leave her notes offering ideas how to do business better. I mean she hated it. Although we were practicing almost everyday at the Vats and writing lots of songs no body was having too much fun.
The Vats were starting to get a bit scary with a new crew of crazy people hanging out. Meeting up with nuttie people in the hall ways became common. A busy dominatrix lived on the top floor...like 7 flights up. her whole trip was humiliating straight married men. 10 or so of us would be drinking beer on the stairways outside the building. a cab would pull up and out would come some guy dressed in a skirt and blouse, tacky hand bag, and lipstick. we knew the dominaatrix had ordered the guy to dress in simi drag and climb the stairs to her beautiful abode and get his ass beaten for an hour or so. Dave Dictor made friends with her and used to watch from a closet or something...in her room while she "worked". i wanted to watch too, but men in hose never turned me on. when they walked by us we always yelled at them and laughed and asked real loud..."gee, i wonder where the pretty lady might be going tonight?". soon, though, it was starting to get a bit crazy so we began looking for another place to practice. we knew of a cool woman, Carrol Lennon, who had a practice studio on Capp St...the street of the poorest prostitutes in SF. Capp, between 16th and 17th. Rough. However, we went to look at the place and it as very cool. plus Carol was so kind and so cool. an English women with two young teen boys. we decided to move into Capp and start practicing there. we practiced three days a week, and some weeks more. although we didn't get along to well as friends we were all very into the music. we wrote the songs that ended up on the album THESE PEOPLE. we were playing lots of shows around SF. Black Flag and Fear and MDC and DRI all still were bands we played with a lot. a new place in SF became a venue for live music. The Farm. a cultural center, really much like the places i would see later on in Europe. People lived there and used the space of everything from day care to after school places for kids. all kinds of music as going on in the Farm. it had a big music room and big stage. Playing there was always good. Soon we started recording These People. Klus Fluoride was producing. although Jello came by the studio almost everyday to check on the progress. He and I were always friendly. he loved to talk and give his opinion on everything. He is one of the very smart people in the world. He never failed to give me a great deaal of respect and always complimented my singing. Recording These People is another bit of a blurr to me. I never had money for day to day livin g but always had money for beer. Phillip was there druing the recording almost every day and Debbie was also there as manager. she and Phillip and I loved drinking ith each other so beer was always on hand. Lynn, Tim, and Sebastian never had much to drink. I do remember Tim and Sebastian having lot of different ideas on how songs should sound. the sound i was always very proud of was about my child hero George jackson....the Black Revolutionary who was killed in prison. and i loved Sidewalk Begging.
a ong about the new population of homeless people that were starting to be on the streets of the city--everywhere. the recording went smooth, i guess...because one day it was finished and we had a big show record release party. i loved record release parties.
Reagan was becoming more and more fascist. he had invaded Granada, broke the airline strike, laughed as the streets were filling up ith homeless people. and the atmosphere in the punk rock scene was geting more and more political. one of the meeting places of the political gatherings was a free lunch room known as the Zoup Kitchen. people started lining up about an hour before it opened this was at the Methodist church about half a block from the apartment Phillip, Debbie, and I shared. so i was there everyday...along with the MDC guys, and most other bands of any street dignity! a block from haight St. and tons of hippies and punks were coming together to eat. Skin heads were starting to appear in SF, but most of these guys were yesterday's punk rockers, and so every body was pretty friendly with them. Most of them came to Dick's shows and were nice to me. Uniting us all was an older guy called Diamond Dave. He would tell us he had been the one who turned Bob Dylan on to marijuana . i believe him. he was a street poet and looked upon himself as the thread to tie the hippies, punks, and skinheads together. Dave Whittiker. still around SF. the Cozmic Lady was also an older hippie poet. she would get up and say poetry ato the eating crowd everyday. punks would do acoustic shows....the cooks and cleanup staff were all dedacated to feeding the hungry. It was a real moment in SF political conscieness. i espically kept an eye on a volunteer. he was there everyday. thick build, black hair and big dark eyes. a beautiful smile and seemed really shy, but very dedacated to being there to help cook and clean everyday. i found myself looking to see him hen i went to the Zoup, which was about every day. the 1984 democrtic convention ws in SF that year. so huge plans being made to demonstrate. The Dicks were planning to record a 45 single around this time. we had written a song called I Hope You Get Drafted. Pointing to the apolitical folks i so disdained. I as wishing the 'give a shit' types would get drafted. i had to go through it o iwanted everybody else to. it would certenly put ome thinking into a blank head. MDC included thi on one of their compulation albums. they were running their own label now R Radical Records. when the Dicks recorded Hate Teh Police we made up our own label since we did not have one and knew we never would. we called it Radical Records. I knver knew how R Radical came to be but it did, so ironically WE ended up doing the single ep on R Radical. we got the great punk rock producer, who had produced KILL FROM THE HEART, Spot. i thought the ep should have a name. PEACE? i called it. it came from my wanting peace in the world, but wondering if it could ever come. the song on side one was NO FUCKING WAR. people loved that song and sang along with it at every show.
we recorded it at Howie Kline's studio... one Sat. all three ongs. No body asked me, I hope You get Drafted and No Fucking War. Somehow we Had Spot in town to produce the project. what a great guy to work with. a ture nerd and musical wonder. That he liked the Dicks was a real honor for us. His method was to let the band play and do it's thing. ever so often giving a little hint of what might make the song ork better. for No Fucking War we had a bunch of friends show up and sing on the Chorus.....everyone shouting as loud as they could..."we don't want no fucking war..and e don't want to fight no more..." It mde me think of the last time i had lots of friends inging along in the studio. When the Texas Dicks were recording Kill from the Heart and we recorded Anti-Klan Pt @, with Tim Kerr from the Big Boys on Dobro and all ou friend doing back ground vocals on the "We'll fight you" chorus. Most days i was thinking of Buxf, Pat, and Glen and wondering how they ere doing and what they were up to. i figured they hated me so i didn't call.
I was living a sweet life, always broke, eating in soup kitchens and living free with my two best friends. sometimes though i felt a little empty nd lonely. who dosen't feel tht way sometimes?

Hanging out is Austin was good. but i knew the other guys were not planning to return to SF. why would they. they had lovers and friends to live or ty with. they had jobs waiting for them. i on the other hand was having a blast in SF. Phillip and i were like brothers and i lived with him. Debbie and i were like family now, too. i had gained a bit of populairity in SF amoung the punk scene so going back for me was not only easy but i looked forward to it.
During the time we were there our SST album KILL FROM THE HEART got shipped to us. too bad it missed the whole tour but we tore into the boxes and were thrilled to see the big beautiful album cover. it looked so cool. Carlos had done a great job. too bad, upon openning the album the wrong record was in the covers. open another one. another etc. every record had the wrong vina. i went ballistic we had a instore record release party the next after noon and a show in a couple of days. Debbie got on the phone and fixed everything. They promised to send a batch in time for the party and the show. we had to ship the ones back they had sent. i wish now i hqd kept a few for collector's items. the records did come and we did have the party.
soon i knew every was getting a bit pissed at me and i felt the same. Debbie's parents sent her the money for both of us to fly back to SF and leave the old van with Buxf. i soon left Austin to reform the Dicks. a san francisco Dicks.

As our time with the RAR tour was coming to a halt i did have a few fond memories to cling to forever. Meeting Doc Dqrt was a special thing. a great guy from the old school of weird and wondeful. i remember him on one show in a small croeded club pulling a bic disposable razor out of his pocket during a song and reun it down the side of his face as he sang. as the blood started pouring down his chin some fan standing near the stage started yelling and freaking out. to comfort him
Doc jumped off the stage and ran right for the guy...with razor in hand....of course the happy fan, fearing for his life dropped his beer and ran as fast as he sould to the end of the club, Doc close behind. i never knew what really went down but after while Doc rejoined the band , who had never stopped playing, back on stage. that Doc. always good for a laugh.
another time in new york the yippies had called a meeting of all the bands and workers to figure out what was going to happen and who was staying with the tour and who was leaviing. at this point we really weren't sure what we were going to do.
It's funny to look back on now and i relly can laugh. but i wasn't laughing then. none of us were. to many turkey dogs and crying babies and cops pulling plugs. the meeting was compleat and utter chaos. a packed room on Beaker St.. at this time it was rough and nasty part of town. im sue nw it's part of the clean and pretty new-nyc. we were ll packed into a airly big, but stuffy room. too many turkey dogs had left everyone a bit miffed and e were all getting tired. people were getting really stoned and then making decisions for all of us--nice, well meaning people but a little lopsided in their thinking.
i was really worn out and at one point of some argument i had had it..i got up and stormed out of the room and down the stairs to pull open the door and get some air on the dirty street. i was in a fury at how silly the scean had become. i yanked to door but it didn't come open...ipulled again and looked at the young hippie looking girl who i suppose was a receptionist. she looked terrified at me pulling on the door knob and cussing.."this godamned fucking shit...even the door is fucked up"...at this poing the knob came off in my hand almost sending me into a fall flat onb my ass. Buxf had followed me down and was telling me to calm down. i felt foolish at being so mad but it was too late to stop now so i took the door know and threw it as hard as i could at a blank wall. "wham!!" it hit the wall with uch force it stuck there. silent and still looked scared the young woman salked over to the door and said, "it opens by pushing it." while saying this she slowly opened the door with ease by ever so slightly pushing it open. there was the door know sticking in the wall, and me with a shocked look on my face. Buxf started laughing and said, "let's get the fuck out of here....there's beer in the van". i felt stupid but, oh, well....afte a few beers i started telling the story to anyone who might listen to me....oh, what a day!
another night after being lot and getting the wrong directions for a couple of hours....cot and i finilly got to the little packedgarage apartment everyone had settled into. I think it was Amhurst and the show the next day on campus was supposed to be really big. lots of local young political punks were there adding to the crowd and noise and the juicer was buzzing and i wanted any thing but a fucking turkey dog to eat. already in a pissed mood dur to getting directions in the wrong little town instead of Amhurst....an it being late and walking into a nest of punks, and hippies, dogs barking and babies crying...seeing Buxf, Glen, Pat, and Debbie looking miserable , but drinking, i said something like, "is there any fucking beer or something to eat...." some hippie kid started heading toward me with his arms open. everyone got tense---"dude, you just need a hug". as he said this i grabbed him and picked the tiny rat up up and headed to the window to throw this mother fucker out the second floor. "Ill give you a fucking hug", i told him. Pat and debbie had grabbed me and made me put the kid down. i remember him scurring away and under his breath saying.."dude.."
i eneded up sleeping alone in the van that night...i needed the lone time to clear my head. i woke up feeling pretty good and knew a big plate of turkey dogs was all cooked up and wiiting for me.
the show was great that day and we were about to leave and drive on down to Texas to rest, play a few shows and then head back to San Franisco.
I could tell trouble was coming by some hints and actions from my dear band mates and best friend.. i ignored them mostly and just kept it going for myself.







Christy compleatly saved us on he tour. she could deal with the leadership, and yes, their was a real leadership in this anarchist unit. she would screem and yell to get sence making points across. without her we would have stayed about a week, but instead we had fun staying at her crowed 102nd and Broadway apt. one of the most fun nights we all had off and were having a meal together with MDC, Christy and Rob, the sound guy on the tour and lots of other folks i can't remember. Beer somehow was there in many cans which the Dicks were gulping down. that night after eating and while we were all sitting around the living room Glen started playing every ong he knew on the guitar...old top 40 radio songs and i started singing along, only adding my own filthy lyrics. In stead of Stop in the Name of Love....it became Cum When I Suck Your Dick....with all the lyrics changed to fit the night. every one was laughing and getting drunk and it was great. I, for once, felt it was a bit of history for us all to be gathered there involved in this cause. this anti right wing bull shit Reagan was doing to out country. no matter how crappy i felt the 'turkey dog tour' was, i belived in the reason we were all there and espected the others for being there, too.