I was back in San Francisco and I was ready to do music. When we restarted SDH after my time away from the band it seemed to be a perfect time for us. we had our first practice and all were happy to be playing again. During out time apart not only did i go my thing, but Ben had stopped drinking and other getting high stuff. he was healthy and he and i made new efforts to get along and work together. He and i were as different people as anyone could imagine. we both had a lot of respect for each other and this made it possible for us to play together.we never really socialized at all. i remember once thinking that it might be nice to hang out sometime and try to cultivate out friendship. this is before he stopped drinking so i called him up one after noon and asked him, "hey. Ben what are you up to?"
:Oh, gary....uhh, well nothing"
"I was wondering if you wanted to go get a beer somewhere"
all he sad was "why?"
i said "well, i guess just to get a beer. nothing else".
"well, i don't understand...why?"
ok...so i just got pissed and we never went for a beer. i realized we would be band mates and that's all and that s the was it was for out entire time in the band. this does not mean we were not close, but it was close in a guarded way. we laughed and fought and created what i think was great music together. I found Ben the best at listening to my ideas of what i wanted to hear on guitar and playing it for me exactly as i heard it. he would very patently listen and put it to music. Mikey was still playing great but bigger problemms were touching his life. He really was one of the sweetest people i ever met but some inner saddnes made him look in the wrong places to fill up the sad spots. i feel no need to go deep into the problems Mikey had except to say i loved him and he played bass better than most people i have ever heard. He defined out sound during this peroid.
Lynn Perko. My sister. my dear friend. when Lynn joined the California version of the Dicks she was still a bit of an awkward girl growing into a woman. and did she ever grow. i watched Lynn become one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen. One of the most dedicated musicians and hardest pounding, or gentle drummers ever. we love each other till this very day.
The other member of the band was Debbie Gordon. my best girl friend and one time manager of the Dicks. Debbie and i were a crazy sister and brother-best friend pair. during the time i had left the band Debbie had not only been the manager of Alternative Tentacles records, or as i call it...Jello's label. She had gotten a job at Warner Brothers n LA. Funny how one of her so called best friends denounced her for selling out and going to work at a major label. This same phony soon became a millionaire running her own record label. Creating a punk rock empire firmly cracking the whip to keep her myrmidons in order. People are funny.
Debbie could not be our manage anymore because she was a Warner employee. but i did ask her advice now and then and she was helpful when she could be. We were playing and writing and would practice at least three times a week. People started acting real nice when they would recognize me. During this time i met up with a nice guy who tole me to check out a bar south of Market called My Place. i had lost some weight but was still looked at as a fat guy. My friend told me My Place was very friendly to big guys and i would like it. well i told Phillip and that night we headed to My Place and it was pretty cool. the best news though i found out about was the Lone Star saloon and the Bear movement. ah--the Bears!
I had never been a popular guy in queer bars because either i was a hippie looking long haired weird-o back in the day, or a punk Mohawk haired wild nut or fat. fat being the real reason. the main stream queen worked 24 hours a day to look the right way. a way to attract guys who looked like himself. the fat queer spent years dealing with being either the super cattie sharp tonged queen or some lonely chub in the dark corner or the bar. finding a fat fiendly gay bar was rare. Phillip and i loved hanging out and drinking together but i hardly ever went to a gay bar with him due to me choosing the weird punk looks i came up with and being fat. not just fat, but more like in your face fat. so when we found the extreamly welcoming Bear culture growing on Harrison St. in the Lone Star i was thrilled. The bartenders, at the time were the nicest guys in the world. as Sister was in the papers a lot people there recognized me and that was a plus. going from ugly fat ass to a welcomed popular item was unbelievable. this pretty much meant i was there every night. when SDH did shows around town lots of the guys would come. once when we did a show at the Great American Music Hall one of our roadies came back to tell me "Don't be nervous, but there are lots of pretty rough bikers in the crowd...right up front". i went to peek and it was about 30 or more of the Lone star guys i had met or seen hanging out there. i told Kyle, the best roadie in the world, " i think things will be ok". i was never a big "fuck everybody in the bar" type so i was able to keep things friendly and easy. I was getting drunk at least 4 or five times a week. but loving it.
One day Debbie called and tole me one of the A abd R guys at Warners was interested in coming to see us play. he had heard a tape and out first album and wanted to see how we played live. we were ral excited and since we had a show coming up we spent extra time practicing and getting into the mind set of beint 'watched' by a record executive. i thought back of a show the Dicks had done in Houston way back in 81. i was hailed as one of the best hows ever at the island...so said Ronnie Bond of Really Red...Glen broke a string on th first song and was so drunk he sat on the stage for most of the show trying to change it. Buxf had a beer bottle and was running it up and down the bas neck over and over and over while Pat was doing the 'naw-jaw' speed clenched teeth and beating the drums out there on his own....i walked around on the stage cussing and blabbling about the communist and queers and so on. th entire show was nuts and we had a great time. oh, how times had changed. now one guy in the crowd was someone who could change our lives. if he had seen the Dick's in Houston he might have been a different kind of guy. a few diffrent a/r people came during this time to see us. one from Rough Trade, one from somewhere else....i thought most of them were big headed and on power trips to promote themselves and really could not care less about us or music. that night Kevin came into Laffee came into our lives.